Dear Diary #1 – Going back to university

Dear Diary is going to be the most personal series on my blog. Writing a diary has always been very important to me, so I wanted to share a version of it with you. I really want my blog to be 100% real so I feel like it’s important that I share the things that I care about and show you what my life really is. So this series is going to be really casual, I’m going to pretend that I’m just writing my diary, and I hope that you will all like it.

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instagram: @patriciavisz

01.10.2016

Dear Diary,

I was planning my first post in this series to be a really nice and cheesy one about my adventures in the summer, how much fun I had and how amazing it is to go back to uni. But the truth is I don’t really feel that way anymore.

Yes, I did have an amazing summer – I went to visit one of my best friends in Croatia, who lives literally 2 minutes away from the beach, then I was lucky enough to introduce her to my home country. In September I had the opportunity to go to France for two weeks, and then I spent two more weeks at home in Hungary with my family and my friends. I consider myself really lucky and am grateful for everything that happened even though the summer was not only about sunshine and having fun. Whenever you are supposed to have the best time of your life something can always go wrong, anxiety can come into the picture or the people you love can disappoint you. This is just how life works and we all need to accept that.

I choose to remember only the positive parts of my journey and so I let go of the parts of the summer that I didn’t really enjoy. I made mistakes and I learned from them, I grew as a person, and now it’s time to move on. I am back in my home away from home – in England, and I wanted to tell you how I feel about it.

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instagram: @patriciavisz

During the travel and moving process I was feeling quite nervous for two reasons. Firstly, as an international student it is so difficult and stressful for me to move to university – who knows when my suitcases or boxes will disappear, or when my plane will be late and I miss my bus or I lose my wallet or my passport or ANYTHING. The second reason is that this time I didn’t actually want to leave Hungary. I had such a nice time at home, just chilling and watching TV shows with my little family. People have told me that it gets more and more difficult to leave home every year, but I never understood why. Now I realised that as time goes by, your visits at home will always get shorter because of work, and you will never spend as much time with your family as you used to, and you will never live at home again.

Last year it was completely different. It was sooo exciting not knowing the place where I would live for the next couple of years, and I didn’t fully process the thought that I would be completely alone in a foreign country. There was no point thinking about it – I knew that I just had to do it. When I arrived in England it was magical to explore a new town and get to know new people completely on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I was stressed out a lot, but it all happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to worry. Well, this year the magic has disappeared and all that was left for me was stress.

Fortunately everything went well on my way to England, I moved into my new room and it all seemed perfect. But it takes time for stress to go away, especially if you are at the beginning of an even more stressful period of time – like the second year of university, in my case.

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instagram: @patriciavisz

I want to concentrate on the positive side of things and appreciate what I have. So even if it has been a very stressful couple of days for me, I am still very happy to be back in England. I will never forget that coming here was a dream of mine that I managed to accomplish. To this day, whenever I start thinking about how lucky I am to be here I get butterflies in my stomach and start smiling by myself like an idiot. I am also very motivated to study what I am interested in, and basically just to make the most out of my time here. My ambition is what allowed me to come here and I know that it will also help me succeed in everything that I want to achieve in my life.

So I am looking forward to starting university and work next week; I am feeling so motivated and grateful to be in this position. Let’s work hard, let’s be positive, let’s do this!

So this was my first Dear Diary post, pure honesty and the real me. Not everything is perfect, but you always have to find some positivity and concentrate on that. I hope you have enjoyed a bit of insight into my life, and I hope you will like my Dear Diary posts in the future as well.

Xx

P.

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How to make yourself feel better?

When you are sad, or just feeling under the weather, there is no one else but you who can make you feel better. I feel like a lot of people are stressed every day, because they are always in a hurry and they do not have enough time for themselves. I am not different. Moving away from my home country for university, I have a lot of things that stress me out and make me anxious.  It has also been a very busy couple of weeks for me, because of the packing, traveling, and preparing for university.

Lately I’ve been trying to spend some time every day by myself, when I have some rest or do the things that I like. On those days when I’m just not feeling very well, I try to do the following things to make sure I am relaxed and have enough rest. In case you are in the same situation, or sometimes you just feel under the weather, or you are often too stressed, here are my top tips that you can do to make yourself feel better.

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  1. Log off, and switch off

My number one tip is to distance yourself a little bit from the internet, especially from social media. There are so many things on there that can make you feel even worse, like seeing pictures of that girl on Instagram who is prettier than you, or seeing annoying posts on facebook. So just log out, and put your laptop and phone aside for a little bit. Instead, you can read a nice book, or watch a great movie – believe me, it will definitely be better for you.

  1. Exercise

Don’t think of a very hard, sweating-to-tears gym session now. Too much training can also stress out your body, so try to have some light exercise instead. Go for a walk with your dog, go swimming, or do some yoga. Fresh air also helps to clear your head, and there’s nothing better than going on a nice walk on the beach, smelling the sea and feeling the wind.

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  1. Motivational movies

If you feel like you need that extra motivation, or you want to get inspired to do something great, there is no better way than watching a film. These movies can make you forget why you’re so stressed, and focus on the things that really matter in life. They remind you: happiness, friends, family and great personal values are the most important things, no matter what you’re going through. Some of my favourite motivational movies are: Pursuit of Happyness, The Peaceful Warrior, Seven Pounds. (I’m going to write a post about these three movies soon, so keep checking my blog!)

I also really like watching Disney videos, because they remind me of my childhood. Watching fairy tales as an adult can be so different than as a kid – you can understand what you may didn’t ten years ago, you realise the message and the meaning of these films. (And you are not terrified from that huge and scary sand-tiger in Aladdin anymore, haha.) My favourites are: Pocahontas, Tarzan, The Little Mermaid.

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  1. Having a “pamper session”

Even if it’s not the best, it’s definitely my favourite thing to do that makes me feel good. Having a nice bath, using a body lotion that smells amazing, washing my hair and making it very soft, having a face mask, painting my nails… You can do this while listening to some of your favourite songs or having a cup of tea. I can guarantee that you will feel wonderful afterwards.

  1. Writing a diary

When something particular happens, that makes you anxious or stressed, the best way to feel better is to write it in your diary. After thinking things through and seeing them on the pages, you will have much less weight on your shoulders. I wrote a post about my tips for writing a diary, you can find it HERE. You will be surprised how relieved you will feel if you write down your feelings.

  1. Baking

If you like being in the kitchen, or cooking is your hobby, this tip will be definitely your favourite. You can cook or bake anything that you would like, and the satisfaction of eating the food that you made yourself will make you feel so much better! There’s no need for me to explain this any further. If you crave something very sweet I can recommend a nice cupcake (such as THESE OREO CUPCAKES by Tanya Burr, but you can find other amazing recipes on her youtube channel as well). But if you would like something healthier, you can come up with some alternatives (like using rolled oats or sweetening with honey instead of sugar). Just turn up the music and enjoy the baking!

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I really hope these tips will help you when you are feeling under the weather, or when you’re having one of those days when just nothing seems to be perfect. If you have any more ideas on what to do when feeling down, don’t hesitate to share them in the comments below!

P.

How to write a diary?

I filled more than five little books with my own writing since I was a child. At the beginning, I documented my daily routins or programs assiduously, but after a while I realised that it’s not the point of writing a diary. It does not make me feel good, if I simply share what I did every day on paper in a bored voice. What I needed during my teenage years was a platform, where I can write down my feelings, and read them again or analise them.

It has been a few months since the last time I wrote into my diary that has little ducks on its cover, but as the effect of an event in my life, I decided to write again. I  simply had a feeling that I need to sit in my bed with a pen and paper, and think about what had happened. I felt so much better afterwards, that I decided to share my tips, because it might help some of you. A diary can be your own therapy, so it is very important to pay attention to the following things. Of course you don’t have to do everything I say, just memorise what you need, or change a few things.

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1. Have a nice and safe diary!

If your little book looks so good that it tempts you to write in it, than there’s more chance that you will put it in your hands. No one wants to write into an old diary that has coffee spilt on it or that was chewn by a dog. It should look nice and clean, and you should have an organised feeling when you leave it on your desk. I am sure this will be good for your soul. If you don’t want others to read it (like your parents or your curious little brother), then choose one that has a lock on it, so it is safe. I know that cheap diaries all have the same locks, and you can open them easily with anything, so if you really want to keep your diary your secret, you can even hide it. The point is that it should feel safe to you.

2. Only write if you really want to!

After a while you will feel when you need to write down your thoughts. It is not at all good, if you feel like you have to do it, like it is obligatory, so don’t make it a daily task. It should be a ritual, a little pamper for your soul, so you will feel special. If it is part of your daily routine, the magic will disappear.

3. Make yourself comfortable!

It is important not to let anyone disturb you, while you’re writing your diary, because that’s the only way you can focus fully on your thoughts. Lock the door of your room, hide behind a tree, or sit in the bath, the point is that you should be alone. Sit comfortably, lump down on your pillows, turn on your bedside lamp, you can even have some chocolate or a cup of tea. If you feel comfortable, you can set your thoughts free.

4. Be honest!

If you’re not honest with yourself, than who else could you be honest with? As it is about your own feelings, it may be the most important thing that you don’t lie to yourself. If you try to convince yourself about something, then you won’t feel better afterwards. I often write what I want to think, then admit that I lied, apologise and write down the truth. I have to be honest, even if it’s painful, or if it’s making me sad. You can only feel better if you write the heartfelt, plain truth.

5. Be creative!

Your diary should be a place where you can write anything that comes into your mind. Write down your opinion, or try to imagine a particular situation: „What if…?” It helps me a lot to think about the possible consequences or solutions to a problem. You can also use colored pens, pencils or stickers to make your pages more colorful. You can even draw or make illustrations if you feel like. Do not hold yourself back, let out everything that you’re thinking about.

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I hope these tips will help you lead your diary more effectively, or make you want to start a new one. If you are already into writing your diary, don’t forget to turn back some pages, because after a while you will see things differently. You can realise something that you may didn’t at first. I always like to open my old diaries and read them again. It is interesting to see the thoughts of my 12-year-old self, and be nostalgic for a couple of hours. I hope with this post I can give you the same wonderful experience!

P.

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