Dear Diary is going to be the most personal series on my blog. Writing a diary has always been very important to me, so I wanted to share a version of it with you. I really want my blog to be 100% real so I feel like it’s important that I share the things that I care about and show you what my life really is. So this series is going to be really casual, I’m going to pretend that I’m just writing my diary, and I hope that you will all like it.
I was planning my first post in this series to be a really nice and cheesy one about my adventures in the summer, how much fun I had and how amazing it is to go back to uni. But the truth is I don’t really feel that way anymore.
Yes, I did have an amazing summer – I went to visit one of my best friends in Croatia, who lives literally 2 minutes away from the beach, then I was lucky enough to introduce her to my home country. In September I had the opportunity to go to France for two weeks, and then I spent two more weeks at home in Hungary with my family and my friends. I consider myself really lucky and am grateful for everything that happened even though the summer was not only about sunshine and having fun. Whenever you are supposed to have the best time of your life something can always go wrong, anxiety can come into the picture or the people you love can disappoint you. This is just how life works and we all need to accept that.
I choose to remember only the positive parts of my journey and so I let go of the parts of the summer that I didn’t really enjoy. I made mistakes and I learned from them, I grew as a person, and now it’s time to move on. I am back in my home away from home – in England, and I wanted to tell you how I feel about it.
During the travel and moving process I was feeling quite nervous for two reasons. Firstly, as an international student it is so difficult and stressful for me to move to university – who knows when my suitcases or boxes will disappear, or when my plane will be late and I miss my bus or I lose my wallet or my passport or ANYTHING. The second reason is that this time I didn’t actually want to leave Hungary. I had such a nice time at home, just chilling and watching TV shows with my little family. People have told me that it gets more and more difficult to leave home every year, but I never understood why. Now I realised that as time goes by, your visits at home will always get shorter because of work, and you will never spend as much time with your family as you used to, and you will never live at home again.
Last year it was completely different. It was sooo exciting not knowing the place where I would live for the next couple of years, and I didn’t fully process the thought that I would be completely alone in a foreign country. There was no point thinking about it – I knew that I just had to do it. When I arrived in England it was magical to explore a new town and get to know new people completely on my own. Don’t get me wrong, I was stressed out a lot, but it all happened so quickly that I didn’t have time to worry. Well, this year the magic has disappeared and all that was left for me was stress.
Fortunately everything went well on my way to England, I moved into my new room and it all seemed perfect. But it takes time for stress to go away, especially if you are at the beginning of an even more stressful period of time – like the second year of university, in my case.
I want to concentrate on the positive side of things and appreciate what I have. So even if it has been a very stressful couple of days for me, I am still very happy to be back in England. I will never forget that coming here was a dream of mine that I managed to accomplish. To this day, whenever I start thinking about how lucky I am to be here I get butterflies in my stomach and start smiling by myself like an idiot. I am also very motivated to study what I am interested in, and basically just to make the most out of my time here. My ambition is what allowed me to come here and I know that it will also help me succeed in everything that I want to achieve in my life.
So I am looking forward to starting university and work next week; I am feeling so motivated and grateful to be in this position. Let’s work hard, let’s be positive, let’s do this!
So this was my first Dear Diary post, pure honesty and the real me. Not everything is perfect, but you always have to find some positivity and concentrate on that. I hope you have enjoyed a bit of insight into my life, and I hope you will like my Dear Diary posts in the future as well.